How does it feel when your dreams are shattered?

I have been off blogger from the start of the year! This is my first post for this year! And I never thought it will be something which would affect me badly!

MBA! Doing MBA has always been my dream! To all the third person strangers,if I say I wanna do MBA they might think of it as "Just an MBA right?".But that's not the case for me!

From when I had started my engineering I wanted to do my MBA abroad! I had told this dream of mine to my parents from when I started to have it! Now when it's the right time for me to start it, it's become a barrier!

I'm not blaming my parents,but concerning my safety they wanted me to apply to Dubai since my uncle was there! I told my mom I can't compromise with my studies in a country where MBA colleges aren't that great! But they insisted me to go then I was like okay! Then concerning the financial aid myself along with my parents decided to look for colleges in Malaysia or Singapore since Dubai was a bit expensive! But once again Malaysia and Singapore had hardly 2 to 3 colleges,out of which all of them asked for a minimum of 2 year work experience, which for me was a barrier since I have only a year of work experience! Since my parents were afraid to send me across the seas, out of no option I decided to look to into colleges within Asia, which was when I found out business schools with 5 palms of excellence(business schools are categorized a with 5 palms of excellence up to 1 palm of excellence,with 5 being the top class universities like Harvard!)

I found 3 business schools with 5 palms of excellence which didn't ask for work experience and I contacted them personally via mail to find out about the other issues and scholarships!

I got my hope back and I decided to apply to one among the three jniv! But since I myself was concerned about safety.I had contacted the local Muslim people there(Muslims were less in the country which I had selected) and they assured me that a lot of Muslimstudents come and study here and it's entirely safe and I had also contacted the student communities there which helped me a lot! KAIST Business School ,Yonsei Business School,Hanyang School of Business were some of the universities which I had selected!

When I told my parents about this,day  before yesterday they opposed it and told a BIG NO! I had told them that I researched a lot ( I actually spent a month of rigourous research) among the business schools in Asia.I told my parents about it but they are not understanding and asking others whom they know to research about the same.

What's the point in doing the same research again when there are no possible business schools which satisfy my concern in the countries they are looking for!

 As time flies by ,as the deadline for the application nears,I feel guilty for not being able to follow my dream,for not being true to myself ,for not being able to do anything rather than just to lie on my couch and cry.

No one is there to help me out as well, except for the Almighty Allah SWT.Parents are constantly worried about my safety.But I assure that that its safe and I'll be safe but they are saying a NO!

To see friends/classmates of mine,who being Muslims themselves,coming from an orthodox family and they themselves leaving for their higher education to Europe or States,it doesn't make me feel jealous but it makes me feel down for not being able to pursue the dream which i dreamt.

Am worried whether it'll vanish away when I wake up!When I compare some relatives of mine or some other muslim friends of mine doing their higher education abroad they  ask me not to compare myself with them!

Am not being rude and am not blaming my parents,but I just hope they understand my passion and don't take it for granted and let me fly in my own wings!

Tears roll down when I even think about my dreams getting shattered!

Hoping for a better life!


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